Reflections

I just finished watching 'The Longest Ride' with my husband. Yes, I realize it had been over two years since my last blog 😳! It was probably one of the best movies I have ever seen. It couldn't come at a better time. 

We were married on June 26th this year. Our girls are now almost 18, 14, and 6. They are blooming before our eyes and there is nothing I can do about it. I feel the older ones finding their way in this world and can only hope I have influenced them to make the right choices that lead them to fulfillment and happiness. It terrifies me that I haven't done enough and that I have done the wrong things. They are amazing girls and I pray every day that this world is kind to them.

Happily ever after is a finicky thing. I find us at times in the dark with both hands on the walls trying to find our way. Life deals us interesting hands and at times I can't seem to call its bluff. Luckily Brandon is a rock that steadies me and shows me that what we share is true and deeply rooted. We have made it through quite a bit and times are definitely tough right now. Sometimes when you're world is spinning it is best to stand still and anchor to a rock. There are two things I know to be true...I absolutely need honesty and love in my life and I can never guess what tomorrow will bring.

For now I will stand still and let life unfold. For now I will begin writing a book and let my imagination unfold. For now I will allow my children to make their choices and cling to hope they are the best ones for them. For now....

Plays and Springtime

I just got home from a play that Alyssa was in for school. I am one proud mama tonight. She did do great and she has truly amazing potential. Acting us a new passion for her and after speaking to her teacher, I think she could really go far. The play was a musical and it was a blast watching her singing and dancing!

Shirsten has been off track and helping me a ton this week. I'm so thankful this is her last time ever off track for year round school!! We have her 12th Birthday at the end of the month...12!!! Where does the time go?? Soon she will be wearing make up and going into middle school. I am do sad yet so excited for the new adventures of these amazing girls coming up.

Bailey is so smart and spunky. Her personality is really starting to shine through. She has the most creative imagination and she loves to talk! I love when she giggles with a little snickering in it; it is so contagious!

Brandon and I are doing great. We have a couple of months to go until the girls are out of school and then we will begin to look for a place of our own. Life has really come together :)!!

One Year...

I can't believe the difference a year can make... A year ago I was a single girl getting over strange medical problems; a lost mother trying to be the best mom for my two angels; a woman who had given up on love and ready to settle into a life of accepting what I was handed...

Today... I am raising the most beautiful two girls and playing a part in another amazing angels life; on the verge of getting a house; in love completely with a man who is my other half.

I'm incredibly blessed! I never knew life could be this good and I lay asleep at night so I can count all my blessings every day. I wake each morning with a renewed purpose and direction.

I can't even wait to see what tomorrow will bring...blessings to all of you :)

Hello 2013!

Have you ever thought...wow thank heavens that is over! I'm talking about 2012...what a crazy, beautiful, stressful, sad, and fulfilling year!

First and foremost Brandon and I are still together and are watching our 3 beautiful girls grow up. I look at all of them and my heart fills with gratitude. He is the most amazing man I have ever met in my life and I can't imagine life without him. I wake up everyday and the first thing I want to do is hear his voice and he is the last thing I think about every night. I am so incredibly in love!

Our girls are truly the most beautiful, smart, sassy, giggly and fun part of our lives. They are growing so fast!!! Alyssa turned 15...yes! 15 in November and just got her braces off-we are in trouble! She has had such a great year in school and us actively pursing a dream of becoming an actress. Bailey will be turning 4 in February and is developing the cutest personality you could ever imagine. She has the most perfect way of reasoning and convincing us on things we need to do and things that make her happy. She is so wise beyond her years. Shirsten has done so fabulous in school this year. She has been so dedicated to her work and is blossoming into an incredible young lady who still has that sassy spark. I love these girls with all my heart and I am so blessed I get to have a hand in raising them.

After 4 surgeries last year I think my amazing mom is finally on the road to recovery. I have never known a stronger woman in my life. I'm so happy I was here to try to help her through it. Little does she know she taught more about perseverance, patience, and love that I could only have learned through her experiences. My dad has been a rock for me and at 34 years old I'm still asking him for advice daily. I love my parents so much and I know the girls and I will be lost when we start our next chapter in life and move in a few months. I don't know how I will ever thank them for what they have done for me and the girls.

In a nutshell that is where I am :)...in love, happy, anxious for the future, scared, reflective, and above all--utterly thankful.

Trucking Along...

I am just full of gratitude right now in my life. Things are so amazing and I know I've said it in the last couple of posts, but it just gets better every day. This last week has been hectic. Work has been crazy and I have been go go go. I love my job, I really do. I get to work with the most amazing people who are so committed to their work it leaves me wanting to work even harder and better. I am so lucky to have a boss that is a mentor to me and I truly learn something new from her everyday. The same goes with my direct peers and the people I get the privilege to oversee and guide. I couldn't ask for a better team of people to spend more than half my time with, they make me want to keep doing more. We implemented a big project and I was at work at 1:30 this morning. Watching them all work together, get the job done, and receive recognition, has left me with the biggest smile on my face tonight.

My mom had an emergent second surgery on Sunday. I'm so thankful for the surgeon that worked on her. She is looking better than she has in the last 3 weeks. Part of her going through this gives me the opportunity to play nurse! She has come home with IV antibiotics so twice a day me and my dad get to take an hour and a half to flush out her pic lines, push in antibiotics manually, and then hook her up to another IV antibiotic, and then flush it all again and give her blood thinners at the very last through the pic line. I don't like that she has to go through this for the next 6 weeks, however I know it is helping her and it is fun for me. So she has to deal with me as a giggly nurse haha.

The girls are still doing great. School is gearing up and they go back the third and fourth week of this month. I'm excited to go and do some shopping and get them all cutesy! They have been so much fun this summer and I am reminded every day of how much they have grown up. I can't even use sarcasm without them totally understanding what I am saying and telling me I'm crazy lol. I love those girls to death!

Lastly...I am still hopelessly in love with an amazing man. He is so supportive, gentle, sweet, and I just don't think there are enough adjectives to describe how incredible he is and how much he means to me. I never thought something like this existed and I thank God every night for bringing him in my life. I'm excited to make some fun plans this fall and winter, including HUNTING with him, hooray! It's been such a great year and it gets better every single day.

I am so thankful for all of the beautiful people in my life. You are all what makes me smile and look forward to so many things. I love you all and hope you have an amazing week!

Great Memory

Last Saturday created one of the most memorable days of my life. Brandon and I decided to take the girls fishing. It was a bit of a cooler day for July and it was on and off thunderstorms. We dressed a little warmer for the day and headed up highway 6 toward Scoefield reservoir. Brandon knew the sweet spot to go. As we got closer to the lake the scenery was beautiful and I just knew we were going to see some wildlife. I had a few $1 on me so I said the first person who spots a deer gets a dollar! Alyssa spotted the first one just seconds later. A few minutes after that Brandon spotted the next one and soon after Shirsten found the third.

We arrived at the lake and packed all our gear down a pretty steep hill, bad idea to wear flip flops. Brandon said "ok girls my pole is getting set up first so we have good luck and you gals catch some fish today". In went his pole, then Shirsten's and while he was setting up Alyssa's the first fish hit on Brandon's line! The girls got so excited! One after another we were all catching fish. They were giggling and smiling and just lit up with excitement. I was standing there holding my pole and looking around at the scene around me. Here I was looking at my two beautiful girls and the man of my dreams doing what we all love. I was completely mesmerized and so incredibly thankful for this wonderful life I am living.

Just then Alyssa started reeling in the biggest fish we caught all day. When it was close to shore, Brandon's line hit with another one... Doubles! Shirsten was feeling a little tug tug on her pole and reeled in the cutest lil fishy ever.

Then the rain came :) at first it was raining just a lil bit so we decided to wait it out in the car. We climbed the muddy hill and got in the car and turned on Despicable Me. After 2 minutes it was a full on downpour. We only had to wait about 20 minutes and ventured back down to the lake. Our trail walking down had become a rushing river. We were laughing so hard. Fishing became a little slower after that, although Brandon caught 2 more tee hee. We were down there about a half hour more when the downpour hit again. We were scrambling trying gather everything up and climb the muddy waterfall back to the car. It was seriously so fun!

After all was said and done we were soaked to the bone, had 4 fish that we kept, and in utter happiness!

Summer Summer Time!

Life is so incredible right now. For the first time in I couldn't even tell you in how many years, I am in love. Yep, that's right, I'm saying it! Is it scary as hell to say? Yep! LOL! But, in the same sense I'm not scared one little bit. I have clarity, I have direction, and I have a future. I'm so excited about everything in my life every minute of every day. I can't believe how much has changed for me in just a few short months. It's completely surreal.

Summer is here and I am SO ready! The girls are out of school and have stayed with their dad this week. I am missing them so much right now, but at the same time so happy they get some quality time with their dad. They both did SO well the last quarter and I just can't believe how smart they are! Alyssa is holding a 2.8 GPA and she worked so hard to get there. I have found that she knows all material she learns but testing for her is stressful and she doesn't do as well, but she KNOWS it! It is one of my goals to work with her next school year on testing and ways to be more confident in her answers. Shirsten also knows all the material she learns, but she sometimes gets too busy talking or playing to finish the actual assignments. Focus will be what I work on with her next school year. I am starting a reading program with them this summer where I will buy them the book series they want and when the report back to me what they read, they will get rewards. I don't want them to get too far out of the swing of how amazing books can be for their imaginations. We have tons of plans that they want to do this summer including boating, fishing, campouts, and just plain fun times with them. I love the stages they are in and they are literally growing right before my eyes. Only one year left with Alyssa in middle school, and Shirsten in elementary...yikes!

I also am so blessed to get to be a part of the life of an adorable 3 year old angel with the most beautiful brown eyes I have ever seen. She has melted my heart and I feel like I have known her her whole life. I love the stories she tells me and she has the most adorable catch phrase of "hey guess what". I can't help but answer with an excited "what" each time she says it just waiting for the cutest story to come out of her mouth. The more time I get to spend with her, the more time I want to be around her, like I said she has melted my heart and I am truly the luckiest girl on earth to be a part of her and her daddy's life. My girls love them both so much and everything has just seemed to fall into place for all of us, as if it was always supposed to be this way.

Well that's the latest in a nutshell! Life is fabulous and I hope yours is going just as well! TTFN!

Memorable Memorial Day Weekend!

I am still loving life right now! It has been a fabulous couple of weeks. First there was my Birthday Party where I got to see all my close friends and the most amazing man ever. We had a great time that night. On my actual Birthday I got up at 4 a.m. and took him to the airport to see his family in San Antonio for his Dad's 50th Birthday. He was the first person to wish me a Happy Birthday that day, and it was a great day (well besides the fact that he was gone, but I'm so glad he got to see his family). My Birthday weekend was really nice. I had my girls with me and we had a couple parties for my two nephew's Birthday's, let's just say we were 'caked out' LOL. It was crazy how much I thought about him and missed him while he was gone for almost 5 days. I never thought I would care about someone like that again so some of the feelings I have been having are very new, exciting, scary, blissful, and wondrous. Let's just say I've been on a roller coaster in a great way since I love them so much!

This past weekend was Memorial Weekend. As we were packing up to head up camping with his family my heart was broken that my girls weren't joining us. I asked Josh if I could have them but he had already made some plans with them. They were really sad when they saw us all packed up. I'm sitting here at home just WAITING for them to get here. I miss them so much! I can't wait until I get to see them right now. I am excited because no matter what I will be taking them fishing somewhere sometime this week. I need to do something fun in the outdoors with them.

Camping was absolutely amazing. I really enjoy being around his family. They are so much like my family and make me feel right at home. We had lots of laughs, lots of wind, and some pretty cold temps. It didn't matter though, we had a total blast. His little girl is so darling. She makes me smile just with the sound of her voice and she is so incredibly intelligent. It was some really good times.

Today on Memorial Day I got to have a BBQ with my family. It was such a great day. I got to play with my nieces and nephews and giggle with my siblings. They really know me and how to make my life complete. I don't know what I would do without my amazing family.

What else can I say? Life is fabulous right now! TTFN!

Sudden Turn...

So here I was reading my last post back in March on the 25th. I had to giggle...little did I know, 6 days after that post on March 31st, my life would take a sudden turn. It was my nieces Birthday party that night and my parents asked me if I wanted to head out to Wendover. Ok really, I didn't have the money but I knew that one of my friends Birthday party was being celebrated out there so I thought "Why not? It should be good times"!

I was in my Victoria character - you know the girl in the British accent - with my friend "Kate" (Kristi), walking over to the 3 Card Poker table. She runs into this cute guy she knew and introduced the two of us. Um...how did I never meet this guy in the last 2 years since we are both pretty good friends with the same crowd of people? Let's just say we hit it off really well. He was funny, flirty, and got along great with my parents too haha. We were together until 4 in the morning getting to know eachother and then me and my parents finally decided it was time to get some sleep.

The past six weeks have been amazing. I have had so many people say 'when you're not looking, someone will knock you off of your feet'...I sort of believed that and knew that one day I might be ready for something serious if I found someone that 'got' me (we all know I'm a little silly). Here he is right in front of my face now. He is absolutely amazing. I have met his little girl recently and she is so adorable. He met my girls and they all get along so great. My girls go on and on about how awesome he is and how happy I am which makes them happy. I met his family on Sunday and all I can say is they are really really good people. I felt so welcomed and they are so much fun to be around. My family adores him.... It is so crazy yet I'm not one bit scared, not one bit   questioning anything. Each day gets better and better and I am so excited to see where this goes. TTFN!

Hello Spring!

It has been a little while hasn't it? There have been some up's, some down's, and some perfectly calm times for me these past few months. First I'll start with an update of the all of the medical stuff I had to deal with last fall into this year. The first doctor I saw was sure that I had Multiple Sclerosis. We started treatments for it and scheduled many many tests. Since this was just my Family Practice doctor they were referring me on to a Neurologist. I first saw a Neurologist that could get me in fast and kept my appointment for the GOOD Neurologist I wanted to see but they were booked out pretty far. The 'fast' one, just continued on the path that my first doctor found and didn't really do much. So here I was taking some fun expensive treatments and not getting any more answers or even guesses as to if it was for sure MS or not. FINALLY I went to the 'good' doctor. He was so completely thorough. He went through each blood test I had had over the last 3 months (which was over 30 tests) with me. He went through my MRI scans and then did a full neurology test on me in the office. I was there for quite a while. At the end I received the best news I could have possibly received. He didn't believe that it was MS. He said "I'm not going to rule it out" since they can never rule it out but told me that the chances weren't that great and all of my symptoms were consistent with a severe Vitamin D deficiency and something else with a mineral that I'm missing. He wanted me to go on supplements and this other medication for the mineral for 3 months just to see what happens (hey I'd rather pay for that than the expensive crazy meds they wanted to do for the MS). Well it's 3 months later and I'm feeling so GOOD! I can use both of my arms, I don't get dizzy anymore, and I've had a little more energy. The only thing I really have to deal with now is just the extreme fatigue when it sets in and that really only happens about 1-2 per week instead of every single day. It has been so great to be awake most nights when I get home from work to see my girls. Unless I have another big episode I don't need to go back to the doctors or unless I get new symptoms. Can you say RELIEF??? I feel so blessed!

The girls have been doing so great. It has been wonderful living back at my parents with them to help me out. It is such an amazement to see the changes that these girls are going through while they are growing up right before my eyes. Alyssa is finishing up her 8th grade year. Her grades this 3rd quarter are the BEST she has ever had since she started Jr. High. She has worked so hard and I am so proud of her. We are going to have to get an award for her. Shirsten is still the chatty cathy and seeing her go through this transition of no longer playing with dolls and toys and now getting into perfume and asking me if she can shave LOL... I am in awe of them every day. I can only pray I'm doing the right things for them. Last year they met a couple of the guys I was dating and nothing came of those relationships. The last one they met they really really liked him and still ask me about him a few times a week and it breaks my heart for them.  So this year I won't be introducing them to any guys unless things get really serious with someone - like after dating 6 months exclusively serious haha...

Last but not least...love life. Simple - I don't have one haha. Sure I still date and have fun, but I am so not ready for a commitment right now. I have really close friends in my life and pretty much have my summer and the rest of the year planned. I'm not out looking and I'm not sad at all. I feel like my life is so full right now. Is there someone out there? Sure..but I will let love find me and when it does I'll know and he and I will figure out everything together. Until that day...I will be loving every second of my single life and continue on my journey of making myself happy and raising two of the most beautiful and amazing girls who ever walked this earth.

XOXO!

New Year...New Beginning

I'm very very excited for 2012, have a feeling this will finally be my year! First I haven't updated in a while for many reasons. The first one is kind of a big one...I have been dealing with some medical problems that are strange and have been unforseen. I have problems using my left arm and sometimes can't even blow dry my hair LOL...have had a couple MRI's and tons of blood work....so with the medical stuff, living on my own has become a bit of a challenge for a few different reasons. I'm listing my townhome on KSL this week and moving back home to get stable medically and financially.... Does this sound like bad news?? Well, you can't keep a good WO-man down, so I'm excited for this new chapter. I truly believe this is the universe telling me to slow down, be a mom, and live each day to it's fullest. You never know when tomorrow will never come...

Second, I've decided that sitting like a duck waiting for things to happen is just not a way to live...sooo....going full speed with no regret and no fear. More details to come on this later ;)

The girls are doing great and have been amazing in the transition we will have to go back home to my parents house. I can't believe how much they have grown! So this is where we are in our life right now :) I wish you all a Very Happy New Year!

Falling into Fall...

Slacker...who me? YES YOU! I haven't been on her much have I? Hmmm...maybe cause it has been an incredible summer! Ah-mazing... Let's see, what have I done lately? Boating, concerts, MOVING, going to the golf courses, planking, owling, Tuesday Night Bout Time's, movies, and loving loving loving being a mommy...oh the word mommy...don't get to hear that too often anymore with these teen's and pre-teen's I call daughters ;)

Alyssa is doing so well right now...she is almost 14, yup that's right FOuRtEeN! What happened?? I can't believe that in just four more years she'll be in her senior year and moving onto her life. I'm terrified for that day. They say...just wait, the next 18 years after you have a baby are going to be a long time...they're liars~! I have blinked and she is growing up on me. Doing her own hair, makeup, and boy howdy do we have the boys knocking on the door (literally)...she is in 8th grade and doing amazing. She has some really close friends and has been in fits of giggles telling me all about her shenanigans at school. She is almost as tall as me now and WOW just beautiful! She has this amazing creative side coming out in her and is constantly reading. She has written a couple of her own books even. I can't wait to see what she wants to do for a living cause at this point the world is at her fingertips...

Shirsten is as spunky as ever. She has contrived this new independence thing...InDePeNdAnT? Whyyyy??? She's my baby, I'm not ready for her to grow up on me too! She is now 10 and in 5th grade. She has masses of friends at our new house and the second she gets home from school rushes through her chores to go out an play. It's like pulling teeth to get her to come home. I am big smiles to see her so happy and doing so good in school right now. This little girl loves to talk and I wouldn't doubt if she ever became a talk show host...she can contrive almost any subject at any time just to fill the air :) I don't have a clue who she gets it from?? tee hee... She also won't let me do her hair and is constantly sneaking into or sometimes asking to put SOME makeup on. Picture day was an adventure when she wanted to dress in a dress for school...haha...she LOVES to dress up, for any occasion. My two girls are just so amazing and I can't believe how blessed I was! We are all doing so good right now.

And here it is fall....I am soooo ready for it too! I'm ready to slow the pace of life, get in the groove of the comfort food (I love fall/winter cooking) have lazy days watching football and enjoying my family and friends. This is my favorite time of year and I always fall in love with the falltime...the colors, the crispness in the air, the blankets, and the first snow (:-0 yep I said it, snow!).... So peeps ta ta for now TTFN and I'll see ya on the flipside!

Planking!

Whew....life has been BUSY!!!! I love it though being busy is fun. I just have to say I have the most AMAZING friends in the world. What a great life...I love being a mom and the girls and I are having the summer of our lives!!!! I have introduced them to a new concept (Thanks to Tiffany lol) of PLANKING! What is it??? Oh it is a super fun, FREE game of silliness....let me demonstrate: Me planking on a carseat...

Looks fun huh?? I know you all want to go out and go planking now don't lie I know you want to!

This summer has also been filled with friends, concerts, rodeo's, boating, and I can go on an on....here are some more fun times we have had:



Me and Hilary before Motley Crew




Me, Tiff, and Hil before Motley Crew



Me and Hil in Wendover for Travis Tritt!

As you can see it is crazy fun right now. I can't wait to post about this weekend hopefully next week...so for now PLANK on peeps!!!